When You Want To Be There, But Just Can’t.

Greetings squadlings.

If you remember, last week I posted about how a childhood friend of my mother passed away. In said post, I mentioned that, while my mother was too sick (sinus infection, rip) to go to her funeral, there is a memorial taking place in Washington D.C. this Friday, and my mother and I wanted to go.

Plot twist, squadlings: We can’t. 

We tried, we really did. I spent hours upon hours sitting in front of my laptop, scrolling through every possible travel website, websites I haven’t even HEARD OF, to try to find a flight. I failed.

There were flights, lots of them. The problem was they were at least $500 a person. That’s $1,000 for flights alone, not to mention hotel, food, and transportation fees for a two-day trip to D.C.. I checked every nearby airport. Nothing. It just wasn’t possible.

I kept trying, spending at least four hours a day sitting in front of my laptop, desperately trying to find a way to get us to the memorial service. My mother used to have a job that required us to travel, and she had leftover frequent flyer miles…that expired in 2014. That would be a $600 bill just to get those miles back, not to mention 30,000 miles PER PERSON ONE WAY to get us to D.C.. It wasn’t going to work. I sat on the phone with that airline for over an hour, begging them to find some way to get us to D.C.. I messaged the airline on Twitter. I was desperate to find a way to get us there, and I failed.

In the midst of my desperation to get us to D.C., another family friend passed away unexpectedly on Thursday morning.

I’m not going to share who that person is, as their family are quite private, but when I got that news, more than anything, I wanted to go home. 

I wanted to go to D.C.. Not because my friend goes to Georgetown. I wanted to go to D.C. for my mom. For her friend. For her friend’s family. I wanted to get us there. I desperately wanted to get us there. Many frustrated tears, curse words, and harsh insults directed at many a different airline, I had to give up. I had to accept defeat–there was just no possible way I could get us there.

I wanted to go home. I wanted to drop everything and find a way to get home. I couldn’t. I have school. As shitty as that is, I have school. I can’t just up and leave, no matter how badly I want to. No matter what happens, I can’t just up and leave. And it sucks.

I guess I’m not used to being away when bad things happen yet. Maybe I never will be.

I still feel sick when I think of the fact that my mom and I won’t be able to be in D.C. on Friday. This morning, I checked flights, secretly hoping they had gone down at least $200 overnight. They hadn’t. They had gone up. If we couldn’t get there before, we’re sure as hell not gonna get there now.

Excuse me while I just….giphy



Be well, squadlings.



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